There exists of course no substitute for the richly rewarding experience of plunging headlong into a tour of Musée Patamécanique – especially when accompanied by an uninitiated friend. It is a strange place; a fusion of funhouse, fable, museum and nightmare. While we offer the following elucidation as an aid to those embarking on their journey into this museum of confounding distortions the reader must bear in mind that there is no such thing as an objective approach to describing something that becomes so wholly internalized as a tour of Musée Patamécanique.